A bunch of mixed metaphors is what you've got, and not necessarily mixed well.
When I prepare a salad, or perhaps dressing for that salad, I make sure that I've got the best ingredients available so that the final product will be tasty. If I'm good at the task I can hope that the end product will be as good as its components, but I can't expect much if the components are substandard. I don't know if I can expect the same thing from mixed metaphors as I can from a mixed salad, but I guess I'll have to try it and see.
I think I've chosen promising metaphors, but they're not responsible for what gets put on the plate in the end.
So who are my friends that I've invited along? Alice, Winnie and Dorothy.
Alice who, in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, falls in the rabbit hole.These three each bring with them different approaches to how we might visit the contents of the web. None of them is necessarily the right approach, and since they're all good friends I've tried to let them exist side by side in the proverbial salad, or allow each to add his or her own distinct taste to the dressing.
Winnie who, in the Introduction to Winnie the Pooh, receives a visit in the zoo, through which we learn the best way to visit a zoo.
Dorothy who, in the film version of The Wizard of Oz, steps out of her house and finds she's no longer home.